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The Beaverton in a new low: “Rumours” that Levant “has a hamster stuck in his rectum”

The Beaverton, a weekly “satirical news show” airing Wednesdays at 10 pm on Comedy, takes aim at Ezra Levant, the co-foundrer of The Rebel, a conservative news and commentary online platform.

According to its website, “using a “fake news” platform The Beaverton offers devastating insight and biting commentary on Canadian life, politics, and the world around us.”

Jeff Detsky, a television writer/producer and a graduate of Ryerson University and the Canadian Film Centre, is an author at The Beaverton. According to his bio, Detsky’s work has been broadcast on channels and platforms as varied as HBO Canada, City, CW, DirecTV, PBS, TVO, YTV, Teletoon, Netflix, and Comedy Central.

On February 2, 2017 Jeff Detsky post on The Beaverton an article entitled “campaign to finance investigative report on why Ezra Levant is such a fuckface”, in which he mocked Levant for raising funds for a journalistic mission following the terrorist attack on Quebec City mosque (January 29, 2017).

In his “satirical” article, Jeff Detsky suggested that Ezra Levant’s journalism is motivated by irrational Islamophobia and ridiculed him with coarse language hitting him below the belt including by using an implicit anti gay comment.

Here are excerpts from Jeff Detsky’s “satirical” article on Ezra Levant:

In response, The Beaverton is launching it’s own investiative report to uncover the veracity of unsubstantiated claims that Ezra Levant sleeps with the light on because he’s afraid there’s a Muslim hiding in his closet.

We will also explore the rumours that Levant wears adult diapers because he was never potty trained; whether or not he currently has a hamster stuck in his rectum; and expose the cover-up of evidence that he once had sex with a pig carcass to completion.

Levant, the bald-face profiteer of horrific tragedies, demonstrates many other aspects that need to be explored by our staff.

Why is he the world’s biggest dick, despite having the world’s smallest penis?

When did he sell his soul to Mephistopheles, and why didn’t it make him a better guitar player?

All facets of Levant’s questionable character will be exposed.

The Beaverton added the following tags to the article: “EZRA LEVANT, EZRA LEVANT’S TINY PENIS, INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM, QUEBEC”

In a previous article a week ago, Jeff Detsky mocked the physical appearance of 82-year-old trustee of the York Region District School Board because she used the “n-word” in a conversation with a black parent.

The following are excerpts from Jeff Detsky’s “satirical” article entitled “York trustee who used n-word looks exactly like you imagined”:

The York Region District School Board was shocked and appalled to hear that one of their trustees used the n-word in a public response to a black mother.

That was, until they heard it was 82 year old Nancy Elgie, who shares more than a passing resemblance to a female version of Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino.

Parents from Elgie’s diverse district have been suspicious for years that she looks like the woman who “don’t take too kindly” in every piece of Southern Gothic literature.

But after using the most offensive racial epithet imaginable towards a woman who was trying to get answers about her own childrens’ discrimination, their fears were confirmed.

It’s horrifying to hear such hurtful language, especially from our elected officials,” explained fellow York trustee James Hogan. “But are you really that surprised it came out of the mouth of a woman who looks like Paula Deen’s mom? Frankly, I’m surprised it hadn’t happened earlier in her tenure.”

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About CIJnews Staff

CIJnews Staff
CIJnews is an independent, dynamic and reliable online news source that serves the Canadian Jewish and Israeli communities and provides an uncensored platform for the spectrum of voices.

6 comments

  1. That pathetic “hamster” idea was plagiarized from an episode of “The Sopranos.” They used the word “gerbil” and it was barely funny. Keep going Ezra, these empty hacks have nothing going for them accept government money and Prime Mister Dingle Bunny.

  2. This Beaverton sounds pretty cool! Thanks for the heads up!

  3. Is it possible that Ezra enjoys having a hamster up there?

  4. Canadians an idiots

    Yes Trump, will act against Islam, will overthrow Trudeau clown!
    Yes sane world really need you!
    Baboons demonstrations against Trump – are mostly Muslims who want to control all of North America!

  5. Could it be that the Beaverton is “yellow-bellied” and is running scared of the growing popularity of theRebel media? Usually, when one uses satire/belittling humor to attack one’s opponents it is because one is jealous/scared of one’s opponent.

    You are doing great work, Ezra!

    • You are right on, Eileen. The Rebel doesn’t get 1.5 BILLION Canadian taxpayer $$$$$$ annually like the liars at the CBC get. I hope the morons who do this show don’t have children. If they do, God help the kids.

      I am one of thousands and thousands of Canadians who are damn proud to support The Rebel. I do so of my own choosing. I am FORCED to pay for the LIEberal Propaganda Machine aka the CBC. I should not be forced to pay for those liars – let the damn LIEberal Party of Canada pay for the CBC and Trudope.

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